Let it Snow... Let it Snow... Let it... stop snowing

I really like snow... I like to drive in the snow... I like to play in the snow... I like the way it looks and feels... I like looking out my window at the snow falling... you could say I'm infatuated by it...

Right now it's snowing in Portland... it's been snowing consistently since the 14th of December... In north east portland, where Stacy and I live, there is about a 1 1/2 feet of snow and ice on the ground... and the snow continues to fall... we woke up to 3" this morning, and we should get 3' more by 10 p.m.

Like I said before, I like snow... but this snowfall has had it's consequences on my need for community... I find that the prolonged snow exposure has caused a selfishness fatigue. I feel a certain amount of cabin fever setting in. I'm actually disappointed I don't get to share my excitement with those I care most about...

The absence of having the worship gathering (worship service) has been difficult. We haven't met as a congregation for 2 Sundays due to the snow. In turn, I urn for being with my family of faith. I miss being with the people God has entrusted to my care (and me to their care).

I hope we are able to have a good turnout for our Christmas Eve worship gathering... I wait with anticipation for our time together and urn to share life together... it's amazing how absence makes the heart grow fonder...

This urning might be what advent is all about. I believe that there is a sense within us all of wanting what could be... I hope for reconciliation... not only personally... but in the context of community...

I have concluded that we must place ourselves in one another's orbit for reconciliation to happen... for what good is personal reconciliation, redemption, or revelation if they are not for the good of the community?

Fear = Lack of faith....

I have been thinking about I John 4 lately. The words that are written are an invitation out of fear, especially the fear of the unknown.
I can't help but be fearful of the unknown dangers, toils and snares that lay before us as individuals, culture and world. I tend to worry about things I can't control rather than exercise my faith... Worry is a way for me to participate in fear.

I believe that God has yet to abandon me, and I don't think God is about to start abandoning me (us) any time soon... it's just that I fear what I can't control... I fear the unknown future...

When I'm afraid i don't function in being present in the 'right now' of life. I usually gravitate toward an overwhelming sense of doom... that things aren't going to work out... that everything is going somewhere I don't want to go...

I once saw a bumper sticker that said, "Where are we going? and why am I in this hand-basket?"

If my fear is all tied up in what I can control then where does faith come in?

I have no idea how this whole economy thing is going to turn out... I don't think I'm supposed to know, mainly because I need to exercise my faith...

Faith that God is up to amazing things. Fear is my lack of faith.

"Perfect love drives out all fear" I John 4: 18

Big Ideas

So, I've been meaning to write down some of my 'big ideas' for a while... mainly to get them in a tangible form (instead of rattling around in my noggin) and to get some of your big ideas.

So heres a list of 'big ideas,' I'll unpack them in future posts:

Following Jesus is Simple (but not easy)
One must be a student of others
The now is vital to understand the 'not yet' of the kingdom... I think Jesus was more interested in us living into the now...
Mystery is essential to faith
God is not interested in competency
God is not interested in efficiency
God is not interested in safe
Faith is active and participatory not passive and apathetic
Values are the most difficult and time consuming issue in our lives
Restoration and reconciliation are byproducts of grace
Fear is a trademark of sin
Embracing non-arrival is a faith-filled act
Holy Leisure is a gift from God (Holy Leisure = doing nothing for God)
Placing ourselves in other people's orbit is vital to knowing God
Collaborative ideas create ownership
Community is a gift

The list will grow... but I'm excited about unpacking some of these Ideas with you...

let me know what 'big ideas' you'd add to the list...

grace and peace,

cv

L'Aubergale Vs the Car Seat

Our new dog L'Aubergale (Pronounced Low-ber-gale) was so frustrated with being left in the car earlier today that he chewed a bit of car seat to pacify his frustration.
I returned to the car this morning with L'Aubergale excited to see me, happy that I was back... and ready for the next adventure...

My response to this meeting, however, was with anger and frustration.

I was mad at him for being a puppy...

the damage is done... no catching him in the act, etc (the way to curb bad behavior in dogs is the 'redirect').

I felt a new kind of fear of the unknown... questions like will L'Aubergale tear up the whole car, given the chance? or was this a one time thing...

I had two meetings this afternoon that made it necessary for me to leave L'Aubergale unattended in the vehicle... needless to say, it was very difficult to concentrate on the discussion with the images of naugahyde, foam, and bare metal seat frames running through my head...

Guess what? I bought him a huge bone (which he ignored) just to give him other chewing options than the car... I gave him that more to pacify my fear than to give him a gift...

When I returned both times after my meetings he was fast asleep... no chewed up vehicle... no other destruction... all my fears unwarranted...

I am so motivated out of fear that I think it's chronic... but it's not working anymore... fear isn't a real motivation... it's an emotion that I react out of, but not a motivation...

Maybe, perfect love drives out all fear (I John 4)? I'd rather be motivated out of love than reacting out of fear... even at the expense of buying new car seats...

Reminders

The leadership team for our church had planning 'get away' this past weekend.

During our time together I became increasingly aware of our journey of being church: past, present, and future...

We discussed the main areas of focus for our congregation and reflected on our journey. As a leadership team we must reflect on what has been in order to know what could be.

Our time was focused on what is now... being present in the 'now' is very difficult.

Most of the time I like to be somewhere (usually anywhere) else than where I'm at. I have a perpetual life set on a grass is greener perspective. Yet, I'm finding that being present is far more engaging that longing (urning) for something else.

I was most reminded about Jesus' words about the 'kingdom.' Jesus kept/keeps inviting followers into a kingdom that is here and elsewhere at the same time.

There seems to be a now and a not yet aspect to faith... I'm often reminded about what I know about myself others and the world, but more often I'm reminded about what I don't know about those same things.

Our congregation is full of now and not yet. We get to figure out how we live in a new kingdom that is not of this world.

All the while we get to be reminded that God is in control and that we get to participate in God's interests.

Busy Weekend Ahead... wait... I'm not a super hero?

Some have said that planning isn't a strong suit of mine... I think 'the some' is right. My schedule in brief:
3:30 p.m. Take L'Aubergale on a long walk
4:00 p.m. Leave for Salem: wedding rehearsal
6:00 p.m. Leave Salem
7:00 p.m. Arrive for our Leadership Retreat
8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. Retreat

7:00 p.m. Dinner with Friends

Sunday Morning is open: Yay!

Wedding in Salem @ 6:30 p.m.

So what was I thinking when I scheduled all this together... I mean, sure it can be done, but I'm no super hero... wait... I'm not a super hero?

I read comic books and watch movies about people doing extraordinary things... I think sometimes I believe that I'm supposed to do it all...

Well, the boots, cape and tights don't fit like they used to and I don't think I was ever meant to wear them...

If I'm not supposed to wear the tights boots and cape, who is? Is Jesus supposed to wear the outfit? In fact, maybe my hero epics get in the way of a messiah that doesn't wear the garb of a super hero.

Maybe, that's what was wrong with people who approached Jesus looking for a show? Maybe they wanted a super hero and not a Messiah?

Thoughts?

L'Aubergale the Wolfhound

Stacy and I adopted an Irish Wolfhound on Friday from the Oregon Humane Society.

We had gone to see him on Thursday night to 'try him out' at the kennel... We liked him, a lot... he was sweet, and gentle for a huge (91Lbs) dog.

I'm sure the meeting for L'Aubergale was similar to the other human's he came into contact with... he had the 'just get me out of here' anxiety.

For us, we were timid about hoping (see the unTruman show)... we were the 3rd hold (of 8) and our time wasn't going to happen until 6:30 p.m. friday night...

Friday was great, I went to the coast with a new friend, Gabe to go surfing... I forgot my wetsuit so I was stuck in the hammock (rough huh?) with my Iphone stuck on L'Aubergale's humane society page. The I phone has this great feature for those of us with OCD called the reload button... which I couldn't help but push every 15 min or so...

I used all my 'jedi' powers of Friday, attempting to 'will' this dog to be ours. Jedi powers or not I was hoping... even when I knew it was possible for more disappointment... I couldn't help it.

After I surfed for an hour, I knew that we could make it home before 5... so we loaded everything up and headed back to Portland.

As soon as I could I reloaded the page with what I hoped to be our dog... he was still there... none of those people who put holds on him adopted him...

At 6:15 p.m. on friday I picked Stacy up from work and we headed to the humane society... by 6:29 we were at the front desk beginning the process of adoption... we were so excited to get him!

Hope works, even when we can't help it...

Tired + Sad = Grumpy (and thoughts on Chuck Close)

Yesterday was tough (read The Un Truman post)... I have found that when I am tired I am grumpy... mix a little sad in, and you have a very sad, tired, and grumpy cv...

So, I've been thinking about what a collaborative congregation looks like...

Last Christmas we took my parents, Vernon and Lynne, to see a Chuck Close exhibit at the portland art museum... The exhibit was a fantastic representation of how an artist (Mr. Close) would invite other artists (collaborators) to make huge prints together...

Chuck close is a paraplegic and an artist... his work is amazing... his limitations are actually what makes his work unique... his collaboration art invites others to participate in the process...

I'm certain that we can learn what being a collaborative congregation could be by experiencing art in similar ways...

Could it be that our congregation is art?

Collaborative Vision Test

Last week I went to  Chicago to condense a prayer retreat I helped write into a manageable form.  The process was much like a vision test, you know, the kind where you sit in a chair... with the big goggle thing over your eyes... and the Dr. says... tell me which one is clearer?... one, or two... three, or four?... Now imagine that being done where six people are looking at every option... 

Person one... sits in the chair... decides 1 and 3 are the best... the next person sits down and likes 2 and 4... the third person (me) asks why we are doing this... well you get the idea...

We had so many options to go through by the time we finished I was exhausted... 

I believe that sometimes our faith is like looking at a map with a group of people... sometimes we look for the most efficient way of getting from point a to b... other times we are compelled to go a more scenic route (usually when we feel like we have the time, like when we are on vacation)... 

I found my impatience in Chicago... by the time I got to the airport I had had it... I wanted to fly home on a direct flight... I was even on the standby list... the counter attendant told me that because I had gotten a cheap fare I was not allowed on the direct flight (with 27 open seats)... so off I ran... to another terminal to catch my flight to Seattle...

I was so upset, I didn't get what I wanted... I had to go the long way, just because someone told me I was a cheap-skate... oh man, that's rich!  

Maybe the lessons I'm to learn are found in the travel, and not the destination...

Sermon on the mount... uncomfortable, very uncomfrotable...

I visited an episcopalian worship service yesterday at noon.  The Eucharist was centered on the sermon on the mount (Matthew 5).  After the celebration we sat down and discussed the reading... I normally place myself in the position of first hearer... attempting to hear these words for the first time... one thing I noticed was my emotional discomfort with being one of the blessed people Jesus talks about, the second thing I was aware of was my dismissal of those that were blessed... like feeling sorry for them (far away 'them'), the third thing was my feeling of guilt that  the far away 'them' was not necessarily my story, and finally (or fourthly) I was struck by the call of Jesus to be present with those that are blessed... 

My discomfort with intentionally putting myself in the orbit of those that are blessed is striking.  I have a value of comfort, I like things to be easy... I like my convenience... being blessed is not very convenient... being blessed demands presence... when I comes down to it, I don't know very many blessed people... when I do meet the blessed... I want to fix their problem... would that make them unblessed? does my discomfort come from my fear of blessing?  Do I 'dismiss' because the sermon on the mount gets too close to my apathy, convenience... I honestly think that I may limit God because of my discomfort... It seems that this passage demands us to be present with those that are blessed... my question is, are we present when we are being blessed? Are we present with others as they are blessed?  I hope so... cv

The Unfamiliar

I was asked some questions from a friend about some thoughts I shared with our congregation concerning John 21... I'd like to hear your thoughts...

 

Can you give a little repreach of the sermon about "the unfamiliar"?

The idea of the unfamiliar came from the John 21 text... Simon Peter and the other disciples (that were fishermen) returned to their familiar trade.  They were fishing as they would normally fish... Jesus shows up on the beach... they didn't know it was him... he tells them to fish on the other side of the boat... they do and haul a ton of fish... 

            The idea of the unfamiliar is that often we replicate what we know and what we like... rarely do we we venture to far off the beaten path... 

Jesus' ridiculous suggestion that fish are on the other side of the boat is really fantastic... the fishermen probably got used to fishing on one side of the boat... they might have needed to swing all their gear (pulleys, cranes, etc) to the other side of the boat... they had to use their muscles differently, they had to see things from a different perspective... it's still fishing, the technique is the same, but the challenge would be huge... like learning to throw a ball with your opposite hand.  

           

What is the unfamiliar? How do live a faith that pushes us to those places?

            I believe that God shows up in the mundane, everyday, familiar moments, places, and spaces of our experience.  The everyday, familiar happenings in our lives might be where God meets us face to face... It seems like Jesus continues to invite people out of themselves, to come and follow... but that means looking at the world differently... looking at what we do and who we are differently.  The unfamiliar is simply the life we are used to living is redeemed by Jesus.

            So the unfamiliar is where God interrupts us from the mundane and invites us to participate in life differently.   

 

Are we supposed to live in the normal or seek the edges?

            I believe that we are called to be willing to follow Jesus... now I do believe that sometimes we deem the act of 'casting our nets to the other side of the boat' a ridiculous idea, therefore we dismiss the call of Jesus and inevitably miss out on what God would have for us... 

            I think at some point we give up on the idea that things change, somehow we resist (because of fear) event the idea of God showing up in our everyday... I believe that this is closely correlated with our creative self... at some point (usually in primary education) we become aware that other people criticize the art within us... that what we produce is subject to and compared with other people's art... The art of a child is a simple reflection of the world that they see... the world  as it is to them... what is important is relationships and how things feel... At some point we shelter ourselves from criticism and as a result, from the unfamiliar... the edges of our lives are the areas we protect, and in turn stifle because of fear... we fear the unknown within us... we fear the edges... 

            The unfamiliar is also a call away from competence, pride and self seeking... Jesus invites us into a new identity... we live in the present, but often we are drawn to nostalgia-ize the past (glorify it) or perceive a tumultuous uncertain future.  The edges of ourselves aren't on the fringes, I believe the edges of the unfamiliar are right at this moment... Peter followed Jesus' suggestion... he threw the net on the other side of the boat... it's the same water... same apparatus... just 4 feet and a movement away... not miles, not future... 4 feet and movement... 

            Art is participation... participation in the unfamiliar and the unknown.  we participate in being moved in different directions... Jesus demands participation from his followers... The beautiful image of God showing up in the everyday-ness of our lives is incredibly compelling... We are God's art...

 

does art help us stay comfortable or does it help us seek the unfamiliar, what art has helped you know this?

            Art is a 'stick in the spokes' of comfortable... I am drawn to ocean imagery because of my relationship with the ocean. I respect the power of the ocean I can appreciate the thoughts, images, sights, smells and sounds the ocean brings to me from terror to placidity (and the terror of placidity).  I don't believe that there is any such thing as bad art (just like I don't believe in failure).  Art is a connection to the unfamiliar and I believe that God meets us in the unfamiliar.